Intelligence

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I

WHAT IS INTELLIGENCE ANYWAY?

Your Communication / Emotional Intelligence is important because it is an important component in the overall measurement of your intelligence. We have been following this for a long time. However, you may have noticed that a person with a high IQ is not doing the best professionally or personally.

That is because “book smarts” is not the only thing that matters. For years, we have only paid heed to exams, test results, and what not, because we feel that was the key to success. Having a high IQ is extremely helpful, but there is more to success than that. So, What has been missing?

Communication / Emotional Intelligence is your ability to perceive knowledge, learn from it, and then use it when needed. There are a variety of bits and pieces that combined, make up “intelligence”:

The Communication / Emotional Intelligence of an individual is what has been missing from the system. Your ability to understand various situations and respond to them in an effective manner to achieve optimum results. So, how to measure Emotional Intelligence? Well, there are five domains that form your EQ:

  • Self-awareness: This is the knack of recognizing your emotions as and when they take place.
  • Self-regulation: This is the command over your emotions in terms of managing impulsive reactions that may not be so wise.
  • Motivation: This is what drives you to achieve whatever aims you have set for yourself.
  • Empathy: This is your personal intuition as to what the other person may be feeling and how you can manage the situation positively.
  • Social Skills: These are skills you will need to interact with people and make an impact on your personality.

Understanding these aspects of your behavior will help you understand yourself better. When you understand yourself, it becomes easier to understand various scenarios and different sorts of people.

Having said that, it is important to note that people have their own personality. The aim is not to become the same as everyone else. The idea is to hone your own qualities and skills for a greater purpose, peace, and positivity. The assesment we have put together takes into account the five main domains of EQ. It will help you in analyzing your attributes and inclinations for you to judge. It is true that we are our best critics.

Staying Balanced

Staying Balanced

An excellent way of staying balanced is by considering your level of happiness.  Using a scale of 1 to 10 you can ask yourself,

“How happy are you?”

Start segregating what makes you happy and determine where there are gaps in your everyday life that keeps you from experiencing ongoing happiness or even joy.

Project in your head scenarios of “What if.”

  • For a GREEN back up, what if they said “No” more often to requests that they don’t want to do?
  • A RED backup may say, what if I scheduled time with each of my children individually as I want to spend time with them instead of working so many hours?
  • A GRAY backup may say, what if I did not let a weekend go by without at least one hour with no noise, no people, and no interruptions?

By setting up more balance, everyone will win.  Contrary to our rationalizations about the compulsions that perpetuate imbalance, getting one’s life in balance creates more wins for everyone.  It is an excellent place to start.

Steps to Staying Balanced

When considering what it means to be balanced, look at all aspects of living fully.

  1. career choices,
  2. family satisfaction,
  3. physical well-being,
  4. spiritual development,
  5. social and recreational outlets, and
  6. measurement of self-sacrifice.

This is a personal journey.  One size does not fit all.  Each person will come up with his and her formula.

For instance,

  • Some may find career fulfillment in research, accounting, engineering, or computer programming.  These are a few examples of balanced matches for those who have a GRAY backup style.
  • Some draw to social work, counseling, nursing, teaching, and customer contact positions due to their GREEN backup style.
  • Managers, business owners, law enforcement personnel, and military assignments are all examples of matches for those who have a RED backup style.

Sad is the day when a gray backup clergyperson receives a task to a congregation that values fellowship, social gatherings, and group work.  Likewise, a green backup who draws the shipping job where there is no people contact.  While the red reserve whose job is repetitive work with no need for new methods or leadership skills.  These are examples of career choices that stand a high chance of being out of balance resulting in a lot of unhappy people.

Spiritual Wellbeing

Spiritual wellbeing interconnects with all the other regions as a guiding force and a dominant presence. No area considered for the overall balance is isolated.  Each has a direct and indirect relationship will all the others.  Perhaps its most significant connection is with the area of self-sacrifice and generosity.

Family Happiness

Another example is how family happiness intertwines with career choices and satisfaction in a directly connected way.  Those who value close family relationships and value satisfying successful careers have an incredible challenge of setting up schedules, expectations, assignments, and objectives that lead to the desired family time thereby, bringing balance for the long term.

For example, a nurse who loves her job and wants to be available to her family works two twenty-four hour shifts during the week.  This works for her and fulfills her career and family ideals.

Physical Well-Being

Physical well-being impacts all areas of life.  Optimal physical health enhances decision-making, overall life outlooks, and contributes energy to career, family, and social activities.

Summary

Staying Balanced is a central theme in the lives of individuals who have achieved a degree of self-actualization and spend much of their time in the blue.  Staying Balanced might be another way of talking about being focused.

Think of it like a tightrope walker.  Balance on the center of the rope and concentrate forward will keep them from falling.

The same is also true with good employees, family members, friends, or spiritually-alive human beings who balance between too much and too little.  They are focused in a self-assigned direction, practicing and being comfortable in being proactive, resilient when waylaid, responsive and professional with others, and authentically acquainted with their unique talents and gifts.

Managing one’s balance is the result of mapping out a personal hierarchy.  What is your current relationship balance among career, family, physical well-being, spiritual development, social and recreational activities, and altruistic desires?

Is it what you want and what needs to change?

A strategy emerges, objectives surface, and a strategic plan of action make it all come to life.  This blueprint maps the way, assesses progress, defines needed corrections, and pinpoints implementation processes.

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Benefits Emotional Intelligence Training

Self Regulation Training

Do you need Self Regulation Training?

One thing that we all need to keep doing in life is to evolve. You may have spent your entire youth studying laboriously and developing Self Regulation skills, honing your talents in order to get to where you are right now.

Emotional Intelligence Training is learning how to pay attention to your emotions and of the people who surround you. Since it revolves around the idea that you need to understand your own thoughts and emotions as well as perceive and fathom these feelings in others.

Even in the workplace.

Now, you will think, isn’t that what HR is for? Well, in a way that is correct. However, wouldn’t you rather work on trying to understand yourself rather than having a group of people work on you! You might consider working on yourself because it is going to help you achieve your goals.

We will start focusing on ourselves and being self-aware first in order to manage the variety of circumstances we face at our workplace. It is relevant to all; boss, employer, employee, the works.

What does This Training Involve?

The five pillars of EI are:

  • Self-awareness: knowing and understanding your own emotions as you feel them.
  • Self-regulations: adapting your emotions to the environment to avoid rash decisions or reactions.
  • Motivation: Understanding your goals and working towards it.
  • Empathy: Perceiving the feelings of others so that you can react accordingly.
  • Social skills: Knowing how to initiate a conversation, gesture, or response.

Emotional Intelligence Training starts off understanding these 5 main principles. The intricacies of this training lie in the EI Training modules that will be provided to you by us here at DreamReacher.com. Our focus is to teach individuals how to maintain balance, recognize and manage stress, and at the same time keeping the work environment favorable. These ideas are implemented through a variety of workshops that deal with the understanding of, directive, supportive, and participative approaches.

We will walk you through different training modules with activities such as:

  • Visiting your values to recognize what your true beliefs regarding life and ethics are.
  • Self-reflection to acknowledge which area of your persona requires attention. Guided Breathing exercises.
  • Reframing; this is an activity that should be done under supervision from professionals so that you can have a second opinion on the gravity and the reality of the situation.
  • Problem-solving techniques.
  • Relationship management.

These activities are just an overview of the module that we must share with you. DreamReacher will help you develop a vision and work with you to inculcate the best qualities and work life ethic so that you can aim for it in a way that will leave you feeling fulfilled.

To serve is our motto!

“We’re in the business of serving” and that is exactly what we do. We serve you to help you serve yourself. These life skills aren’t something you learn for a while through various activities and then move on. Emotional Intelligence Training is of utmost importance in the day and age of fast-moving technology, competitive professional fields, and ambitious minds. Let’s admit it, this era is the busiest us humans have undergone so far and to get through it in the most humane, positive, and fulfilling manner is the best way to go about it. Positivity is the key! And that is exactly what our Emotional Intelligence training program has to offer; to teach you the effectiveness of having a helpful high EQ along with the mandatory high IQ.

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Our “Colors” and What They Mean

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Words spoken to people only account for a small portion of what is discussed between one person to another.  You get a much more significant picture of what is being communicated by being aware of both verbal and nonverbal communication. Knowing the nonverbal clues of colors boosts your understanding of yourself and others.

Here is a detailed description of the colors we use and what they mean. We use GREY, GREEN, RED, and BLUE as our behavior descriptions. (They are easy to remember.)

BLUE

Body Posture:

They will be relaxed while conveying personal confidence.  Shoulders are back, sure-footed and lack rigidity.

The Manner of Movement:

When they move, it is intentional.  They can sprint if it is necessary; however, they slow down quickly when it is needed.  Their movements are congruent with who they are and what they are doing.

You will find calm in BLUE.  You will see calmness in others eyes as they are relaxed. In their communication, you feel a sense of flexibility.  You will sense their openness to fun exchanges along with a serious discussion. If you ever talked to someone in BLUE, you will see a pleasant and inviting voice.  You are drawn to them as you want to feel part of that calm and peace.  You can see this balance filled with confidence.  With a smile always on their face, you can experience the joy and enlightenment they bring.

GREY

Body Posture:

They have slumped shoulders and had a head-fish like a handshake.

The Manner of Movement:

There will be minimal movement and will wander around.  You will also notice them doodle or shuffle papers.  Movements will lack direction.

When you look at someone in a gray area of their life, you may know a person who feels “down.”  Possibly depressed. (Maybe all the time, maybe not.)  They probably feel out of place and might even look that way.  Their head is hanging down, eyes are down, and arms are hanging limply.  They likely feel very uncomfortable.

GREEN

Body Posture:

A person in GREEN will be tight and trying to take as little space as possible.  Their shoulders are shrunken inward, and hands are to the face and hair.  Always holding something close to guard their body.

The Manner of Movement:

Always quick with accomplishing tasks while ensuring no one is in the way.  They may even mimic the movement of others in their environment.   You will see their hand-wringing or fidgeting.  They may shift from side to side and are always clearing their throat.

Notice their movements and the tone of their voices.  Not wanting to disappoint anyone they try to figure out what you wish for in hopes of keeping you from being apprehensive. When someone is in the GREEN, it is others that may show tension.

RED

Body Posture:

They are rigid, puffed up and taking as much space possible.  Their hands are away from the body, and their hands may be behind the neck.  RED likes to stand while everyone else is in their seats.   You will notice that there are no movements at the waistline when they walk.

The Manner of Movements:

They are intentionally heavy footed and put their feet down with power.   When you receive a handshake from someone who is in RED their calm is down during the handshake.

You will find they disregard their environment. When someone is in RED, they are on a mission.  Usually, they are not happy with something that happened and are determined to find out who is at fault.  With piercing eyes and puffed up neck and cheeks you can see they mean business.  They will have their arms away from the body, and when you hear their loud voice, you will have a clue of someone in RED.

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The first rule of using the our “Color Model.”

  1. Be in the BLUE yourself and when you are not sure about someone else’s color, treat them as if they are in the BLUE. BLUE is contagious. If you are issuing an invitation to BLUE, others will often accept. You will feel better and so will they.

Perhaps the greatest of all the benefits is the reminder of how behaviors other than BLUE indicate the presence of stress in a person.  It is that simple.  When you detect someone is in a state other than BLUE, they are expressing a response to pressure.  Although you may not like it, it is best to bypass being judgmental and understand their behavior.

Observe people in different colors and notice the simple things such as how they hold their head or the motion of their hands and arms.  What about their eyes, what are they doing?  All these signs turn out to be one neat package that you can trust to be harmonious and helpful for both the listener and observer.  With this pure knowledge, you will know which approach to take with different types of people such as directive, supportive or participative.

What do these everyday colors say about people?  To simplify things, it is as easy as looking at it like this: gray will tell people “whatever,” while GREEN will say “I’m so sorry.”  Although we also have the color RED that says, “who messed up this time.”  However, understanding the colors and messages they hold will be more conclusive than any words can say by themselves.

GREY, GREEN, and RED are not who people are.  It is their response to stress. Judging and blaming them for being stressed makes no sense. Be a facilitator to invite them back to being their best – being BLUE.

One of the great things about knowing these color descriptors is the confidence you will achieve.  This confidence will transfer to your job, the way you approach co-workers when you need help and planning for the resolution of conflicts.

Through a lot of self-research of colors through nonverbal clues, you will see a boost in your Relating Effectiveness Quotient – REQ.  When you think about it, this is like a shortcut to better understand others such our friends, family, coworkers or just someone you met on the street.

Through this understanding, you can bypass being judgmental.  You know Gray, GREEN, and RED are not who people are.   Instead, it is their response to stress.  Blaming and judging them does not make any sense.  The best way to handle it is by inviting them back to achieving their best by being BLUE. BLUE is contagious.

Don’t worry about what color others are wearing.  Sometimes we do not know anyways.  Instead, be BLUE yourself and treat everyone as if they are BLUE.

You are inviting them to this joyous party, and often they will accept this great invite.  You will feel better and so will they.   Let this color captivate the heart of others and spread it to as many people you can.

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Sleeping-solutions

10 Solutions to Troubleshoot That Sleeping Problem

Why is sleep important?

My grandmother always said that sleep is a part of your diet. You need wholesome, clean, and fresh food just the way you need a good night’s sound sleep. The quality of sleep is going to affect your mental and physical growth because your body goes into a fix-it mode once you are asleep and it will:

  • Heal damaged cells.
  • Work on enhancing your immune system.
  • Recover all the lost energy and mend the fatigue of the day.
  • Reboot your cardiovascular system.

When you are well rested, you will notice that not only are you physically more active but also your brain works in a concise and effective manner. So why can’t it be like this every day? Well, because this is what life is and we all have our ups and downs and let’s face it, the hectic routine of this millennial lifestyle is getting to us! The work life, the social life, family pressure, personal dilemmas, and what not!

What we can do is work on it, find a solution and troubleshoot it! Here are 10 ideas to get that sound sleep you’ve been craving for since god only knows when!

Develop a sleep schedule.

That’s right! The first step is that you need to keep your circadian rhythm in check. What’s that you ask? It’s your body clock and it is as simple as that. It is on a set loop according to the sunset and sunrise. Your elders were right, early to bed and early rise does make you healthy, wealthy, and wise.

Avoid long naps and try to sleep on time and wake up on time. It is a popular belief is that if you want to inculcate a habit, do it for 20 days, and it will be embedded in your system. Once you sleep and wake up on time for 20 days, you may not even need an alarm clock anymore. Yes, there are people who wake up without the conundrum of alarms and snooze buttons. It is possible. It is up to you to give it a try! You will wake up feeling fresh and you are going to be on top of your game.

Cut the addictions (especially right before bedtime)

Addictions such as alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine and even sugar are going to affect your sleep.

First of all, caffeine has many benefits; just one cup is going to make you more focused and aligned to handle your day and perform well. However, caffeine stays in your system for up to 6-8 hours and to calm your nerves before bed, you should try avoiding it at least 5 hours before bedtime. If your cravings kick in, you could opt for a decaffeinated drink to take care of those.

A common mistake we make is to think that we sleep better after a couple of drinks or a nightcap. This is a false notion. Alcohol messes with your sleep hormone called melatonin. Therefore, even though you may fall asleep quickly, your sleep will remain disturbed, you may snore or experience irregular breathing, etc. It is best to avoid alcohol on normal working days.

Smoking keeps you awake because of the nicotine in the cigarettes! This encourages conditions such as sleep apnea. Let’s be honest, smoking really does you no good whatsoever! Just leave it because it’s bad for absolutely all aspects of life and you’ll be fine.

Sugar rush? Sound familiar? Yes, it’s true, sugar makes you hyper and we all know it. So, it’s best to avoid sugar before bed and if you are really craving something sweet, try dark chocolate, it is low in sugar and good for your health in general.

Eat well, eat early.

The best thing about food is that it does not just fill our stomachs, but it also helps in the functioning of different aspects of our body. We can eat particular foods to give an advantage to different systems; i.e. fruit because of fiber for digestions, milk based because of calcium for bones, etc. Similarly, there are foods that are better for you to eat in the evening if you want a good night’s sleep, for example, almonds, walnuts, chamomile tea, kiwi, oatmeal, cottage cheese, etc.

 

Hint: a low carb diet does wonders for your sleep!

Ideally, dinner should be over before 8 pm. This gives your body the time to digest the nutrients properly. Another important thing to note here is that drinking fluids before sleeping is a big no! You do not want to keep making trips to the loo or lay down with the awful feeling of holding it in!

Follow a work out routine.

You may not be a fitness junkie and that’s all right because that is not how fitness works. Nobody is telling you to get abs or get ripped. The idea is to get some exercise for the overall wellbeing of your body. If you are fit and healthy, you probably won’t face much problem when it comes to getting a good dose of sleep. That, and you will get tired and you will want to go to bed!

Doctors say it would be better not to work out right before bedtime, but at least 4 hours prior to that so that your hormones are at rest and your body can concentrate on the sleeping part.

Give nature a chance!

When nothing works, go back to mother nature. Natural remedies all have a scientific reason and the best thing is that there are no side effects. Here are some you could try:

  • Ginkgo biloba- this herb will calm your anxiety and clear your thoughts.
  • Ashwagandha root- according to Ayurveda, if powdered root of ashwagandha is taken in a glass of warm milk before bed, it clears the body of stressful toxins.
  • Valerian root- this is a natural nerve sedative and antispasmodic (reliever of muscle stress).
  • Lavender oil- just a few drops on your temples and wrists will calm your nerves and put you to sleep. This is also helpful to people who experience nausea while traveling through mountainous areas.

Apart from these wonderful antidotes, there is another practice that you may find interesting. Good old yoga. Yoga has the solution to most health problems, if not all. So get yourself a yoga instructor and get to it!

Do your hormones need a boost?

Melatonin is a natural sleep-inducing hormone in your body. Melatonin levels are usually high at night, especially after 9 pm. However, if you are having trouble sleeping, a dose of melatonin will help you through this deficiency. Usually, people take 2 mg of melatonin before sleeping but it is always better to consult a doctor or pharmacist before taking any kind of medication, whether light or strong.

Make the bedroom your space.

The environment you sleep in is going to make a lot of difference to the quality of your sleep. You may have seen babies who sleep better when they are holding onto their particular blankies (blankets) or toys, or something which smells of and belongs to a parent, this is because this provides them with comfort. The same way, you will need your room to provide you with a feeling that says you are home and you are safe:

  • Decorate it the way you like it.
  • Choose comfortable furniture, pillows, sheets, and mattresses that suit you.
  • Take charge of the light, pick lights that soothe you, add curtains to block the light if you have trouble sleeping in bright spaces (disturbance from street lamps, passing cars, etc.)
  • Photographs that make you feel connected to your family (if that’s what you need).
  • Be in charge of the temperature, this can really help a lot. Figure out what your body likes best.
  • If you have small children or you’re a pet parent, avoid sleeping with them! I know it’s difficult! But it is best for them and for you.

Try these out! Not only will you sleep well, but also get the opportunity to create your own space for overall comfort.

 Treat yourself to a warm bath or shower.

A warm bath after a long hard day is truly a treat! Just make sure the water is not too hot and not too cold, just lukewarm enough for the fatigue to wear off and body temperature to fall and this signals the brain that it is time to slow down and go to sleep. It refreshes you psychologically and mental peace is the key to a sound slumber.

Try therapy!

Life is a thick and lumpy soup for many, and getting through it is not only difficult but also tiring. Sometimes we really need to share what is going on with somebody, but people are so busy with their own soups that they don’t have the time to deal with yours. Or maybe, you don’t want anybody to know of your problems. Therapy is nothing to be ashamed of. Your health matters more than what people will think, and to be honest, if people judge you for something like this, let go of them, you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. Once you have gotten things off your chest, you will feel lighter, and sleep troubles will be a distant memory!

Rule out sleep disorders.

As much as the world will tell you that it’s in your head and you just need to count sheep and you will fall asleep; if you are having a constant sleeping problem despite having tried all the different ways and means, you absolutely must go and see a doctor to rule out sleep apnea, insomnia, sleep movement disorders, circadian rhythm disorders, etc.  These are not conditions to be taken lightly as they could lead to a multitude of problems. And who wants problems?

Happy Sleeping!

Don’t worry and just try to figure out what is best for you, understand your body, give your mind some rest, do whatever it takes to achieve good sleep. Because only when you are rested will you function properly and conquer the dreams and goals you have envisioned for yourself.

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Benefits Emotional Intelligence Training

The Benefits of Balancing your EQ and IQ with Emotional Intelligence Training

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The Basics

Emotional intelligence revolves around the idea of understanding and being in control of your emotions during different situations. Your EQ (Emotional Quotient) and IQ (Intelligence Quotient) need to function together for you to be a complete individual.

I am sure you must be wondering, why do we need to adapt to this new idea of achieving a balanced EQ and IQ level? Well, the second decade of the new millennium is almost over and tricks of all trades have changed! There are new ways, theories, and motives. In order to achieve these, you have got to adapt. People have become more conscientious and you have got to get with the times. Understanding this need alone is going to solve a lot of your problems. IQ does not stand for much without EQ because for a positive and sustainable outcome, it is very important to be able to implement your IQ in the most comprehensive way possible, for others to perceive it and generate work and results from the way you want them to. Emotional Intelligence Training basically teaches you how to get work done in a progressive, constructive, yet maintainable manner.

The Foundation of Emotional Intelligence Training

The foundation of Emotional Intelligence training lies in your Personal and Social competence; a set of skills that you need to wrap your head around in order to partake in Emotional Intelligence training:

  1. Personal Competence:
  • Self-awareness- this is the most important skill of all because to get up and do something about a problem, you need to be aware of it in the first place and only then can you actually work out how to go about things.
  • Self-regulation- understanding your own moods and patterns as to how they function and what kind of emotion is triggered by what sort of stimuli is necessary. With this kind of understanding, you can work towards managing these feelings for the betterment of any situation.

 

  1. Social Competence:
  • Empathy- perceiving the other person’s feelings and understanding them according to their individual circumstances is of utmost importance in Emotional Intelligence Training. The ability to anticipate the other person’s emotional standing enables us to be in touch with our own feelings and develop an understanding of why we feel the way we do and whether it affects the people we interact with.

 

  • Social Skills- although the term may sound very broad and may have its own intricacies, it is the key to settling into any environment. Your aptitude for communication in an open and affable manner is going to make things easier at your space of work, at home, and of course, socially! Once you get the social skills ball rolling, you will find it easier to deal with people in all environments and use this to achieve your goals.

These skill sets are the footing for principles such as:

 

  • Empathy; understanding the feelings of another enables you to understand your own mindset.

 

  • Trust; building trust not just with others but with yourself is equally important for your work ethic and personal morals.

 

  • Communication; People will take you more seriously if you can put your vision across in a way for everybody to understand.

 

  • Approachability; being an amicable presence will not just create a workable environment for your colleagues, but also help you to learn new things.

 

  • Tolerance to change and Flexibility; not all change is good, but it is up to you to judge if something is good enough for the circumstances then there is no harm in implementing new ideas.

 

  • Punctuality; being on time is the most basic life skill you can have because it creates a lasting impression.

 

  • Anger and stress management; keeping your anger under control is the best way to go about things because it is always a better idea to solve the problem rather than to dwell on it and achieve nothing.

 

  • Assertiveness and accountability; although the aforementioned skills are of paramount significance, don’t forget that to achieve, you have got to take responsibility and be assertive so that people don’t take you for a ride.

 

All in all, these skills and attributes are a necessity for the personal development process. Social and Emotional Learning is not a new age technique, they are basics that high EQ leaders follow to aim, achieve and conquer the personal, social, and professional front of life.