Words spoken to people only account for a small portion of what is discussed between one person to another.
You get a much more significant picture of what is being communicated by being aware of both verbal and nonverbal communication. We use the colors of Grey, Green, Red and Blue as our behavior descriptions. (They are easy to remember.)
Knowing the nonverbal clues of colors boosts your Relating Effectiveness Quotient – REQ. It’s a way of understanding yourself and others.
Observe people in different colors and notice the simple things such as how they hold their head or the motion of their hands and arms. What about their eyes, what are they doing? All these signs turn out to be one neat package that you can trust to be congruent and helpful for both the listener and observer. With this pure knowledge, you will know which approach to take with different types of people such as directive, supportive or participative.
One of the great things about knowing these color descriptors is the confidence you will achieve. This confidence will transfer to your job, the way you approach co-workers when you need help and planning for the resolution of conflicts.
Perhaps the greatest of all the benefits is the reminder how Grey, Green, and Red mean the presence of stress in a person. It is that simple. When you detect someone is in a state other than Blue, they are expressing a response to pressure. Therefore, you bypass being judgmental because you understand the behavior (although you may not like it). Grey, Green, and Red are not who people are. It is their response to stress. Judging and blaming them for being stressed makes little sense. Instead, you can be a facilitator to invite them back to being their best – being Blue.
The first rule of using the color model continues to apply:
Be in the Blue yourself and when you are not sure about someone else’s color, treat them as if they are in the Blue. Blue is contagious. If you are issuing an invitation to Blue, others will often accept. You feel better and so do they. Spread it around.
What do these everyday colors say about people? To simplify things, it is as easy as looking at it like this: gray will tell people “whatever,” while green will say “I’m so sorry.” Although we also have the color red that says, “who messed up this time.” However, understanding the colors and messages they hold will be more conclusive than any words can say by themselves.
Here is a detailed description of the colors we use and what they mean.
You will find calm in blue. In fact, customers and co-workers who are in blue with bring a sense of calm in those around them. In their communication, you feel a sense of flexibility. You will sense their openness to fun exchanges along with a serious discussion. Blue sounds like the perfect combination. You can see this balance filled with confidence. You will see calmness in their eyes as they are relaxed. If you ever talked to someone in blue, you will see a pleasant and inviting voice. You are drawn to them as you want to feel part of that calm and peace. With a smile always on their face, you can experience the joy and enlightenment they bring.
Body Posture: They will be relaxed while conveying personal confidence. Shoulders are back, sure-footed and lack rigidity.
The Manner of Movement: When they move it is intentional. They can sprint if it is necessary; however, they slow down quickly when it is needed. Their movements are congruent with who they are and what they are doing.
It is not as black when you see a darker spot. However, when you look at someone in a gray area of their life, you may know a person who feels “down.” Possibly depressed all the time. They could even feel out of place. Their head is handing down, eyes are down, and arms hang limply. Overall, the image you have created may feel uncomfortable.
Body Posture: They have slumped shoulders and had a head-fish like a handshake.
The Manner of Movement: There will be minimal movement and will wander around. You will also notice them doodle or shuffle papers. Movements will lack direction.
When you are in the green, your customers and coworkers may show tension. You will notice their movements and the tone of their voices. Not wanting to disappoint anyone you try to figure out what they want in hopes to keep them apprehensive.
Body Posture: A person in green will be tight and trying to take as little space as possible. Their shoulders are shrunken inward, and hands are to the face and hair. Always holding something close to guard their body.
The Manner of Movement: Always quick with accomplishing tasks while ensuring no one is in the way. May even mimic the movement of others in their environment. You will see their hand-wringing or fidgeting. They may shift from side to side and always clearing their throat.
Those in red are on a mission. They will be visible and usually audible. Usually, they are not happy with what happened and are determined to find out who is at fault. With their piercing eyes and puffed up neck and cheeks you can see they mean business. They will have their arm away from the body, and when you hear their loud voice, you will have a clue of someone in red.
Body Posture: They are rigid, puffed up and taking as much space possible making it to the maximum. Their hands are away from the body, and their hands may be behind the neck. Likes to stand while everyone else is in their seats. You will notice that there are no movements at the waistline when they walk.
The Manner of Movements: They are intentionally heavy footed, and it is down with power. When you receive a handshake from someone who is in red their calm is down during the handshake. You will find they disregard their environment.
Through a lot of self-research of colors through nonverbal clues, you will see a boost in your relating effectiveness IQ. When you think about it, this is like a shortcut to better understand others such our friends, family, coworkers or just someone you met on the street.
Through this understanding, you can bypass being judgmental as this is due you understand their behaviors. You know gray, green and red are not who people are. Instead, it is their response to stress. Blaming and judging them does not make any sense. The best way to handle it is by inviting them back to achieving their best by being blue.
Blue is contagious. Don’t worry about what color others are wearing. Sometimes we do not know anyways. Instead, be blue yourself and treat everyone as if they are blue. You are inviting them to this joyous party, and often they will accept this great invite.
You will feel better and so will they. Let this color captivate the heart of others and spread it to as many people you can.